I think I can, I think I can… Today I find myself chanelling The Little Engine That Could. In light of receiving my blood cell counts on Friday, I found myself deeply disappointed. I had followed my diet, I limited alcohol intake, and I expected things to bounce back, but they DIDN’T. My WBC was 2.6, and my neutrophils dropped from 700 to 600. Nothing significant but I was confident they’d be higher. Like the Little Engine, I tried and tried, by why didn’t it work? 

Feeling angry and bitter throughout most of the weekend I avoided posting my results until I could wrap my head around it in a more positive manner. I had seen the story of a little girl in my hometown who went home to heaven last week at the age of 9. This beautiful little creature fought longer, harder and endured much more than I have. Suddenly I found it harder to justify my anger in regards to my own battle. I’ve got to make the best of this… Just like that little angel did. I have to keep trying… Just like the Little Engine did.

Long before I received my diagnosis I discovered my favorite Maya Angelou quote of all time:

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

It didn’t dawn on me until today that those words need to be my motto. I hate the fact that I have cancer. I’m keeping myself as healthy as possible in attempt to keep it at bay (changing the diagnosis is pretty unrealistic). But I can’t change anythinv without keeping up the attitude. So let’s take a closer look back at the past month:

  • Followed anti-cancer diet ✔️
  • Limited adult beverages to once a week ✔️
  • Spent 20-30 minutes daily on exercise bike✖️
  • Meditation and reading to keep positive energy and mind ✖️

Ok so I didn’t try as hard as I thought. So I must keep chugging along and moving upward. Truth be told, my attitude is already much better today than yesterday. Maya Angelou, you were a wise lady…

MM